there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
