I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
