dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Randomize
