Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
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I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
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