my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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