Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
