can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
