If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
