god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Randomize
