i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
