...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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