Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
