1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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