He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
