There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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