dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
