woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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