i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
