so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
