i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize