watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
