Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
