i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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