In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
