Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
