WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
