ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
