I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize