that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
