I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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