If i come over, it means nothing
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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