Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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