I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
