You're completely useless in the revolution.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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