Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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