her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
