Pants 0. Shit 1.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
