Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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