You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
