when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize