Do you still have your period?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
