I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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