Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
