Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
