No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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