Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
