I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize