You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
