does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
