Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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