that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
