She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
