the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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