I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
