Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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