Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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