It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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