ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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